Just Unlike Me

http://www.themillions.com/2014/02/just-unlike-me-on-our-favorite-characters.html

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When an older, continuing-ed student, so shy she typically blushes when she has to talk, says that she really liked the parts of Persepolis where Marjane was a confident loudmouth who spoke out against the post-war Iranian regime. When a Floridian frat guy says he likes “ghetto-nerd” Oscar Wao and understands how hard it is to not be the person everyone expects you to be. When the orthodox Jewish boy who hadn’t participated all semester was the only one who didn’t think “For Esmé With Love and Squalor” was about a pedophile and defended it to the class by saying: “They’re trying to save each others’ lives.” When the young African-American guy in the nursing school who was only in my class because it was required came to life during our unit on August: Osage County and demanded to read the part of Violet, the cruel Okie-mother. When a kid named Frankie performed the greatest Lear I’ve ever seen in the trailer under the West Side highway that was our classroom with an umbrella for a scepter because it was raining that day…these are the times that I remember why I write and why I teach.

And this is why I want to become a teacher. Unfortunately, I don’t believe I have quite the temperament for it, at least for now. (I sorely lack patience, and as one personality test put it “hypocritically intolerant of those who don’t manage a task the first time, or the second time after guidance.”)

But I digress; the article is about the characters that resonate with us that do not reflect our own images back at us. Mine include one Mr. Holden Caulfield, a young man who frustrated the crap out of me for never considering the consequences of his self-centered actions, the money he wastes failing out of school after school, the impact of his decisions on his little sister, the pointless social discomfort he places on many of the people throughout the book. Bumbling, I thought, annoying; he seriously needs to grow up. But he’s also allowed me to understand that the wishes of one person and the wishes of another do not always tie up succinctly, and that seeking comfort even for something as important as the victimization of a child is difficult, incredibly difficult, when it’s difficult to tell who is or isn’t a “phony.”

Do me a favor

Do me a favor

That’s so interesting! Definitely a tactic I’ll try to use from now on. It sounds counter-intuitive but it makes sense when you break it down. A person is more likely to do a favor for someone they like after all; this is just application in reverse. Ben Franklin, once again, proven awesome.

However, I’m wondering if it has the same effect if there’s a power disparity. I like my boss, but if I didn’t and she asked me to do her a favor, I would do it anyway, and probably come out of it feeling the same way towards her. I used to do quite a few favors for people in fast food/restaurant/take-out situations because much of the time, the situation seemed to really call for me to say “yes”, and not all of them increased my affinity towards them. In fact, if they caught me in a poor mood, it would likely degrade my relationship with the asker if we started off neutral, or if I felt I was being handed an unjust responsibility.

Anyway, Ben Franklin Effect!

What happens when we grow up

A kid around my brother’s age just committed suicide, supposedly by overdose.

What am I supposed to say?

I told him I’d make sure his spirit felt me punching him in the face if he did that to himself. We laughed. I told him to do put away the dry dishes so that I could wash and dry the dirty ones like he didn’t just tell me that.

I feel unsettled.

How we all miss the point on school shootings

How we all miss the point on school shootings

How We All Miss the Point on School Shootings

But this “witch hunt” we go through every time a school shooting happens is a total ruse. Elliot Rodger didn’t become a killer because he was a misogynist; he became a misogynist because he was a killer. Just like Eric Harris didn’t become a killer because he loved violent video games; he loved violent video games because he was a killer. Just like Adam Lanza didn’t become a killer because he loved guns; he loved guns because he was a killer.

Not going to lie, while I enjoyed this editorial and I resonate with many of its ideas, the solution he proposes is so, so much easier said than done. Most of us have grown up shutting out those in pain because there were just so many of those in pain that it would put us in suffering to even acknowledge all of them. Or at the very least, that’s what we were told by those guiding us through life. That you can’t help everybody. That you can’t touch everyone. If someone shoots up a school, goes on a stabbing, commits suicide, then ultimately, that was on them.

I’m reminded of “Riley Rewind”, which was a webseries written and directed by Ray William Johnson and Anna Akana.

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Greek mythology helps veterans fight PTSD

Greek mythology helps veterans fight PTSD

Ajax Defending Greek Ships Against Trojans (Bettmann/CORBIS)

PTSD and all of the polarizing emotions of going into and coming out of war is a struggle not recognized enough.

I am heartened by this sharing of stories and communication between those who understand. I think it’s a great step towards openly talking about mental illness and the effects of trauma. In all aspects of mental illness, I think the emphasis on being open, aware, and understanding is one of the best ways to help someone towards recovery.

Our veterans are routinely silenced, either by their own fear of disappointment, or by the well-meaning who believe it isn’t good to dwell on bad things. And just to reiterate:

  • “57,849 veterans are homeless on any given night.”
  • 12% of the homeless adult population are veterans
  • 20% of the male homeless population are veterans
  • 68% reside in principal cities
  • 32% reside in suburban/rural areas
  • 51% of individual homeless veterans have disabilities
  • 50% have serious mental illness
  • 70% have substance abuse problems
  • 51% are white males, compared to 38% of non-veterans
  • 50% are age 51 or older, compared to 19% non-veterans
  • “In addition to the complex set of factors influencing all homelessness – extreme shortage of affordable housing, livable income and access to health care – a large number of displaced and at-risk veterans live with lingering effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and substance abuse, which are compounded by a lack of family and social support networks. Additionally, military occupations and training are not always transferable to the civilian workforce, placing some veterans at a disadvantage when competing for employment.”
  • “The most effective programs for homeless and at-risk veterans are community-based, nonprofit, “veterans helping veterans” groups. Programs that seem to work best feature transitional housing with the camaraderie of living in structured, substance-free environments with fellow veterans who are succeeding at bettering themselves.”

National Coalition for Homeless Veterans

Children and Lying

Children and Lying

140515_KIDS_LyingI like the picture Slate used :3

My favorite parts of this article are the fact that they say not to ask your kid if you know for sure they did a misdeed so as to not let them choose to lie, but instead immediately confront them with the appropriate punishment on hand. I absolutely agree that the misdeed and the lying have to be treated as two separate things. They even touched upon tact and the difference between honesty and obnoxiousness; something some “older kids” need to learn 🙂