What to do with too many toys

What to do with too many toys

When I was younger, I was offered a lot of different toys. I was given Barbies I utterly destroyed, stuffed animals that I hoarded, puzzles, play cars, Kinex-type things, Legos, the works. You know what though? I barely remember playing with any of it. My dad was annoyed that I didn’t really want to build things with the map and pieces already laid out for me, and likely took it as a sign that I was a silly, unintelligent kid. I never liked following the directions because it felt like tedium instead of play. Anything that came with an end goal excitedly insert in or on the box bored the heck out of me.

Instead, I remember a scarf I used to tie under my arms and the pillows that would end up all over the floor and the warrior princess I would pretend to be fighting indescribable monsters and losing indescribable friends along the way. I remember going around with my friends and collecting random weeds and rocks and creating potions and casting spells all over the neighborhood. Always wanting to go “hiking” (walking around the few hundred yards of hill and tree around our houses) with the boys in my neighborhood.

Or else I would read.

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Why I haven’t posted in a week or so…

Why I haven’t posted in a week or so…

Well. 

  1. Finals. Did shitty on those, don’t want to talk about it.
  2. Went to DC with a few friends and attempted to party like sorority girls which didn’t work out for me either, haha.
  3. Got sick.
  4. Had internship to go to and friends to see despite the sickness and still being sick.
  5. The above.

I don’t know. I want to find out more, but I also don’t ever want to be surprised like that or sad like that or angry like that again. I feel like I was duped. I was naive and silly to believe that people are more than just people. Why did I think watching someone on YouTube for years mean anything? That as long as I kept off tumblr, I would be able to keep out of the drama that makes the internet run? I don’t know Carrie, but I think it’s still safe to say that she deserves better.

Here’s a post documenting the many internet confessions that have been coming out.

Number 146

Oddly enough, I’ve been thinking about this issue more and more. Probably since the End It Movement started their clear truck campaign. Human trafficking and the nonconsensual way we treat some human beings like objects is horrific and shameful, and those who benefit from such…

“We Just Can’t Have You Here”

“We Just Can’t Have You Here”

This describes why I am going to wait until I have a larger, and steady income to get treatment for myself.

My freshman year went down about the same way, except I’m not a self-harmer, so the events manifested themselves differently. I was pushed out of my room, and then pushed out entirely. I kind of wish I cared more, in a way, about the school like the author did. I guess it’s better that I never created an attachment to it though, because what happened just made me angry, and didn’t devastate me.