Refusing to abandon things


Ahh, beer goggles blind, I’m just tryna unwind.

It’s been over a month. Whoops.

I’ve been working. A lot. Worked my absolute butt off. Got very tired and stressed as a result, but ultimately, it’s been fun and it will be fun until it’s done and then I’ll start something new, I’m sure. I already have some stuff nailed down for January and I will will will start applying myself harder to the future, instead of just running the now. But the now? Not bad at all.

I visited Portland, Oregon, hipster capital of the US. It was kind of like being in a small mash of Brooklyn + South Jersey town, and it was interesting. I got to talk to a lot of cool and interesting people, and got to hear a lot of perspectives on homelessness which was unexpected and made me both grateful and sad. Lots of military and ex-military, entrepreneurs and creative types, which was to be expected for the dog eared state of the west, and they were nice people, or as one of our Lyft drivers estimated “goddamn passive aggressive sometimes.” People took their pursuits extra seriously, and there are whole areas of the place without brand-name clothing. Food was great too, and cheaper than a lot of Brooklyn spots without the hit-or-miss of pleasant service.


I bought Musc Tonkin by Parfums d’Empire, which is this glorious white flower-built musk that’s basically the one non-rose winter floral I own. It also layers well with other spring flowers, makes the citruses slightly more winter-appropriate, gives either a lightness or depth to the gourmands and animalics, and it keeps me cheerful, which is the best. I might do a review on this soon, but I’ll probably do Eris Perfumes Belle de Jour first because it’s a closer effect to a real (IMO) salty marine I’ve smelled thus far that doesn’t have like, suntan lotion accord or something in it.

I’m trying to eat lighter. I realized the past few months have been me just stress starving and stress eating in cycles and allowing myself to eat things I know would make my body feel terrible. That’s an issue that doesn’t just show on my frame, but on my mental stability. So. Time towards healthier eating, less mindless snacking, thinking about approximate calorie count and food density, purposeful walking. More yoga, stretching, light cardio. I did an hour on the treadmill the last time I was at my parents’ and the soreness afterwards was absolutely blissful. Which is weird to say, but true enough.

Other personal pursuits include going to more hobbyist/interest classes and trying to make time for books and attempting to write my melancholy and violent thoughts down into a style that at least flows a little bit. I just wrote some dumb, too-visceral-and-not-actual-good poem about burning a metaphorical house down, but at least I got it out, right? That’s basically where my creative energy is these days, which is sad, but not altogether unexpected.

Aaanyway. That’s my update. Actual content coming…dunno? Hopefully soon. No more promises from moi!

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